armorbearer (2006 blog): August 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006




just got back from watching "The Devil Wears Prada" at Bishan GV with Winnie, Cheryl & Candice.


aside from the fabulous wardrobes the ladies possess (OMG LOOK AT ALL THE BRANDIES!!!!! *jumps around like a wild chihuahua*. i took back a few things..


first of all, Andrea (aka Andy) is privileged to be an assistant to Miranda, even though she didn't want the job as badly as others, she was able to inspire Miranda enough to hire her (as Miranda wanted to try something different)

as Christians, we are to be different from the world aren't we? so whenever situation or place we are in, we should always think of it as a privilege the Lord places you in there. There is definitely a reason for where you are now.

****SPOILER ALERT*****

Highlight to see the ending as well as my thoughts!

in the end, andy was able to go to paris instead of the first assistant to Miranda (due to the cold0), but after she quits her job after seeing the lack of loyalty Miranda has to her colleagues, she then decides to pass all the french designer dresses she obtained from the trip to the first assistant.

For once, the assistant smiles, and as she looks over the new person who takes over Andy's job, she tells her "You have a big shoe to fill"

How true! Loyalty is an important aspect in our walk with God. Being loyal to God means that no matter what circumstances, we heed His word. Even if we walk through the valley of death, i have NO FEAR for YOU are with me. Andy's principles mattered much more to her than the materialistic life. Even though she faltered once, she was able to redeem herself with the important decision of leaving the company. Just like God, He is always there to receive you back in open arms.

"you have a big shoe to fill" > Andy left a legacy in the company, being the alternatively dressed girl who stood out from the rest, who served miranda with a spirit of excellence and going the extra mile (instead of just obtaining the harry potter manuscript, she took the extra mile by delivering it to Miranda's daughters). This is what being a person of influence is!

It's a good film overall, i love the dresses and the witty conversations.. and btw, Bishan GV is so spacious and cozy, love it! :D

tomorrow's gonna be a day of fun in the (hopefully) sun! Blading with e374.. well, most of the non-working ones. heeeeeeee. can't wait!!!! ((((:


「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 11:27 PM 」


Wednesday, August 30, 2006



from my drama friend alan's blog.

"Religion destroys. Religion is man-made. Religion
creates wars upon nations. Religion causes divorces. Religion splits friends
apart. Religion puts a barrier between loved ones. Religion causes confusion. We
are not Religious. We are followers of Jesus
Christ."

Amen!


「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 10:42 PM 」



talking to kelvin from drama, made me remind myself a lot of things

  1. PRIMARY CALLING - The ministry where God has called me for and the place where i am gifted in.
  2. SECONDARY CALLING - Serving in any other area of the Body (of Christ) where i am needed.

i think this is absolutely crucial, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I have to start planning what i want to do for God! Else, everything i'll do will fail!

and after flipping through my past books of Bible Studies, i am so amazed at how much i've forgotten or applied into my life. gosh! what's the use of bible studies if i don't act on the word?!

so time to revise revise and revise. it takes a person 12 times to be exposed to a statement before he remembers it. so yeah, must do do do!

:)
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 1:30 AM 」


Tuesday, August 29, 2006



ah yes, a week back, cheryl emailed me pictures of e374 etc.. recently, and i stumbled across the spread of photos and 2 photos struck me.. it was taken in 2005!

the 2 photos below are around june 2005 (last year!) and that was when i was still quite a young christian then, so pardon the gay-ism in there [as well as the super gay shoulder bag].


oh yes, it was about 1900hours then on a weekday night, so everyone was taking this jurong town bus (24something) and apparently, being the anxious chiongsters to reach josh's house before him (jon brought him out for dinner, part of the plan), we squeezed into the bus, BUT, being the kiasu singaporean, i decided to bring lotsa unnecessary things and it made my shoulder bag look bulging, so when i boarded, guess wad, the driver didn't notice and closed the door, AND MY BAG GOT STUCK.

it was rather amusing to the ppl outside of the bus, seeing some big green round-squared monstrosity being kiap-ed at the door.



val and i in josh's room [the rest: cheryl, deborah and chris i think], getting ready our song of Prophesy by CCC sung to the lyrics of "joshua tan joshua tan, joshua tan joshua tan, joshua tan the anointed one!"

ah yes, memories of yore...

and as i was browsing friendster, i came across one of the church drama members gallery and i noticed a picture of him and a few others and one particular sister which i am quite close to now. even with a aunty-wig and a big mole (those are makeup btw), her features are still distinctive! before i post it up here, i'm gonna ask her permission first. it was rather funny, yet something within me made me feel proud to have a person whom i dearly look up to go through the same ministry as i currently am now. where i would desire to be is where she is right now, full of anointing and the glory of God.
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 1:08 PM 」



I read this blog and it really spoke to me, hope it will to you too! it speaks about James 1:19-27. a bible study and self reflection on an anonymous christian member who is a mother.

it's rather lengthy, but take patience!

(taken from his-way.blogspot.com. )

James 1:19 Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. Let's think this one through. Look at the way our body's are made up. The first thing we see is people's mouths. Our ears are often covered or we just don't notice them first. Our anger is often invisible until we let loose on somebody or something. This verse is telling us to lead with our ears, in other words we should listen first. How often do we actually do that? Do we read between the lines when someone is talking to us? Do we hear what they are actually saying to us? Sometimes the things people say are really a cover-up for how they are feeling inside. If we pray for God to help us lead with our ears, then maybe we wouldn't be so quick to use our tongue in anger. There's another thought - we use our tongue in anger. So that means we let anger lead the tongue. So humanly we hear, but we don't LISTEN so we are tempted to get angry and then speak in anger (or sarcasm). Maybe this is why we get hurt by the things others say. If we lead with our ears (or listen carefully) then we will be able to better understand what a person is saying. God can give us insight to their hearts. Then the words that would come out of our mouths would tend to be more encouraging - meant to lift others up. If we've already listened and then spoken to their hearts, then the anger will naturally follow behind. We would really have very little use for it.

20Your anger can never make things right in God's sight. So, no matter how mad I get about something that doesn't make it right. Even if I have been justly hurt, anger still won't make things right. I guess that's why I need to listen with compassion.

21So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage, get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives. Humbly accept the message God has planted in your hearts, for it is strong enough to save your souls. What do I have in my life that is filthy and evil? If I go back to verse 19, then my mouth is definitely filthy and evil. Virtue means moral excellence and righteousness; goodness. So do I have any spoiled virtue? I know that I lack goodness a lot of days. I don't think I always have moral excellence, either. It also says the evil is cancerous. Cancer - a pernicious, spreading evil. Malignant cells that tend to invade surrounding tissue and metastasize to new body sites. Pernicious - Tending to cause death or serious injury; deadly; Causing great harm; destructive. So this evil will affect other parts of my life. This is serious stuff. It's deadly and destructive. It will spread. I really need to get ahold of my anger and my tongue.

22Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! I was just talking to someone today about weight. I have all kinds of knowledge about why I am as heavy as I am and why I can't lose weight. I have done so much research on weight loss. However, I haven't acted on what I know and therefore that's really the reason I can't lose weight. How many times do we read something in scripture and say, "Yeah, I really need to work on that" and then don't bother doing anything with it? We may know our scripture and even be able to quote it and therefore convince ourselves that we are listening. However, if we aren't acting on it, we are deceiving ourselves!

23Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, 24walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. How many times do we look in the mirror and we aren't happy with what we see? What do we do about it? Are we actually willing to be disciplined enough to change? I often look at myself in the mirror and I'm not happy about the weight that I've gained. However, I walk away and put it out of my mind because it's too difficult to deal with. In my mind, I'm still the slender person I was at 25 years old. I think I'm much slimmer than I am. I need to accept reality and see things for what they are.

25But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God--the free life!-even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action. So, apparently because I don't pay attention to what God is saying to me, I am a scatterbrain! The definition of scatterbrain is: A giddy or thoughtless person; one incapable of concentration or attention. A person regarded as flighty, thoughtless, or disorganized. I don't want God to think of me as thoughtless or flighty. I want to be respected by God. And the verse doesn't even say that I have to do it perfectly. It says that even if I catch a glimpse of what God wants, even out of the corner of my eye, if I stick with it then I am a person of action. I will find delight and affirmation in that action. Of course, I will. There is blessing when I am obedient to God's Word. Why didn't I think of that before? If I stick to the weight loss program, then I will be delighted. I guess we need to think about whether we are actually happy with the way we are (whether physically or emotionally) and be honest with ourselves. If we change the way God is showing us, then we will be truly happy and have the abundant joy that God has for us.

26If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are just fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. If I can't control my tongue, then the things I do for the Lord are worthless. Just now as I'm writing this, I'm trying to convince myself that I can still reach some people on my good days. But, that's not what the scripture says - it says my religion is worthless. People are watching us and waiting for us to make a mistake. So, we can quote all the scripture we want, but if we aren't living it and controlling the things we say, then we aren't going to get through to people. Maybe that's why I can't seem to get through to my kids sometimes. I can't control my tongue and they know that - therefore, what I'm saying to them is worthless. I'm only fooling myself - I certainly am not fooling them.

27Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and refuse to let the world corrupt us. If I want my walk with God to be pure and lasting, then I need to reach out to others, including the loveless. I can't let the world corrupt me. Corrupt - Marked by immorality and perversion; depraved. Depraved - marked by immorality; deviating from what is considered right or proper or good; marked by moral corruption or perversion. I don't want to be perverted, immoral or depraved. I can't let what other people do or say to me affect my walk with the Lord. It's up to me to put my ears first and then my tongue and then my anger. Nobody can do it for me. I can make all the excuses in the world, but it still comes down to me. It's my responsibility. I have to make the change. Of course, God is always there to help me, but He isn't going to force me. God waits for us patiently until we draw near to Him. Today, Lord, I commit my life to You again. I renew my faith in You and my walk with You. I don't want to play the "blame-game" anymore. It's no one else's fault. Circumstances may affect my perceptions, but it's still up to me to overcome them. Lord, help me as I lean on You for strength. Help me to make the right choices. Help me to control my tongue and my anger and actually hear what people are saying, instead of just listening to the surface of the conversation. Lord, let me see into their hearts and have compassion for them. Thank You for being so patient with me as I mess up over and over again. Help me to get this right this time. I love you God!

------------------------
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 3:30 AM 」



in my friendster acount:

Popular searches in my network
top 40 songs - yes, listening to Fergie's londonbridge, Justin T's Sexy back, Beyonces Deja Vu..
modeling agencies - considering doing a portfolio or else a photoshoot with june, leslie alongside gail jie.
fun algebra - no relevance
Tommy Hilfiger - not much relevance unless ya talking about branded stuff. EDHARDY!
cartoon superheroes - was watching teen titans just now, made me cry la one scene. haha!
inspirational stories - reading Happiness is by Dr AR Bernard, many quotable quotes by World-shakers ala Oprah Winfrey, Billy Graham
latest hair styles - thinking of doing a different hairdo and maybe even a colour
spa - need to relax man
computer virus - just reformatted my cpu
flowers - Happiness book by DR A R Bernard has sunflowers on it. HAHA.


-
Uncanny right, i wonder how does friendster compile a list like that.
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 3:17 AM 」



i realised that for the past few days, i've been given the opportunity to be alone by myself, be it in town or at home.

Friday after media law exam, i took a bus down to town/home, then i went back to sleep, woke up and watched television and surfed the net. alone.

Saturday after work, i had about 4 hours at hand walking around town before meeting e374 to queue up in church. alone.

but i gotta give thanks for having so much free time in my hands. sometimes i realise that when i surround myself with too many friends, i don't have time to sort my thoughts, thoughts that have a potential to arise to bad habits or worst, corrupt mindsets .. (AR Bernard, who/what is your source of information)

so people! when you realise there's a period of time where you've been given the chance to spend time by yourself, it could be a way of God knocking into your heart saying, "Pssst.. okay, time to sort stuff out. I need to use you to bring heaven unto earth. You willing?"
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 3:04 AM 」


Monday, August 28, 2006





helping out for Dialect Church after our Aniversary (which rocked by the way) give me a different sense of being a Christian. i mean, after all that's been said, preached prayed and done, shouldn't there be an output if there's an input?


me, debbie, liz and winnie were involved for that week, and being a lift helper, i had to see how being in a ministry would improve your personality and maturity. Humbling yourself and serving a stranger who rarely gives thanks. But at the end of the day, i felt that my patience has improved and i felt a lot for the elderly.


Cinematography Project by June Tan
Starring Wendy Tan & Isaac Chan

*

The story is about a girl missing her dead friend (that's me). Apologies for the poor quality, but yeah, i'm quite proud to be on youtube.com.

*






the bearing resemblance of rachel and janice. same top same hair length. i guess i'll be seeing double in my IBP.

So the semester's over, somehow, i have a positive outlook on my results. Praise God that i'm going from glory to glory, from Cs and Ds in year 1, to Bs and B+s and the solitary A in year 2.

and now, it's time to dive 200% into my FYP i.e IBP which is FUK XING LUK.

*

speaking of moving on, i've finally decided to let go of a place where i hold so dearly towards me, a place that isn't helping me in my walk with God. at first it was tough, but after i realise that the future holds something more promising that always being crushed (both metaphorically and literally), the risk is worth taking.

Personal Revelation of the day: Convictions come with the willingness to change.

*

oh yeah, and i got into Drama Ministry! yay! *hops around* finally serving, and the first training session yesterday was awesome, and the people there are super friendly. i think i'll fit right in. =D
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 9:04 PM 」


Sunday, August 20, 2006



You are a natural performer and can easily bring laughter and merriment to even the most serious moment. You are happiest when your home is filled with people who are all having a good time, particularly when you are the direct source of the merriment. hmmm, i won't say i would bring laughter to the most serious moment. oh gosh.

Because of your shifting focus and upbeat nature, people take you somewhat less seriously than you expect, often because they�re expecting a punchline at the end of your serious statement� and you probably have one ready. Rather true, *drum roll please* maybe i'm too much of an "I" that when i start to minister to people, they can't stop giggling away -__-"

You are very generous, particularly with your possessions and have a somewhat communal, shared idea of possessions among everyone you meet. Eh, not really leh, maybe to my close and beloved ones, but not blatantly to any person.

You like to wake up each morning without a plan and see where the day takes you, hopefully on some safe but relatively exciting adventure. You begin a lot of projects, but finish few because the details get boring and something more fun is sure to appear. True, i wish i wasn't stuck to schedules. i wanna go to the gym as and when i like! well, i usually skip projects when there's a funner one around, but i don't mind details!

You like to see everyone living harmoniously and can get irritated by whoever is currently rocking the boat and causing problems. AMEN. i'm beginning to be such a pacifist. hahaa, let no discord be sown into the people around me!

When faced with a problem you are most likely to solve it in the most obvious way, not implementing cumbersome standard methods or finding what is �socially acceptable� first. Well, i am rather respectful and observant towards the people around me, so this statement is rather false.

You prefer hands-on, practical work. You may tolerate other types of work, but you�re never happier than when you�re building, fixing or creating something you can see, touch, taste or hear. You prefer work which is not fixed to a procedure, but which may, at any time, take an entirely new direction if the impulse hits you. hmmmmmm... not really, i like giving a good speech or performance or song.. but then again, is that really hands-on? hurhur. but yes, i'm rather impulsive when it comes to creativity.

As a parent or leader you are non-directive, preferring to see what happens on its own rather than lay down strict procedures and give orders. To you it is understood that any procedures developed by necessity today disappear tomorrow unless they are still absolutely required. AMEN. i won't run an iron hand on my children, they will learn through the circumstances they are brought up, but i WILL intervene if things get too tough.
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 12:08 AM 」


Monday, August 14, 2006



the best birthday party.

need not alcohol. loud music.

the right company.

the right Anchor in the the whole celebration.

pictures up real soon.

currently in the midst of completing a @($*!@($*@ rough transcript (if only the audio levels were higher and cleaner).. so can't thank all right now.

but thanking God is one thing i can take time from anything to do.
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 1:53 PM 」


Sunday, August 06, 2006



as i lifted my hands and prayed just now during my QT, many vivid images flashed through my mind.

*

the world needs a Saviour.

we all need a savior,
who can take away our pains.
wash away our stains.
understand how we truly feel.
to cling onto.

2 people particularly struck me. I'm determined to be a friend to them and show them how God can make the impossible possible.

t'was really scary, one is a maniac depressed person and the other is a staunch person. it's gonna be tough, but hey, it's through near impossible circumstances where our faith levels are built and the manifestation of God's presence is shown clearer!

PRESS ON.

*

whoever is reading this:

if you feel like slitting your wrists, would that change anything?

well, Jesus's hands were pierced by a nail and He died on the cross, and becoz of that, the World was saved.

By His stripes, we have been healed

if you feel like no one understands you, how sure are you of that?

well, God knew you before He formed you, He knew the number of hairs you have on your head (Matt 10:29-31) and the day you will have a breakout (haha)

He knew you even before you were conceived.

if you feel like you're the only one who truly knows whats right, then why do you keep on making mistakes?

well, when you walk with God, He'll ensure that you'll be so blessed that your storehouses would not be able to contain the blessings He'll give, good health is confirmed (Jehovah Rapha = God OUR HEALER) and an ultimate relationship and a ONE TIME JOURNEY TO HEAVEN.

For the Lord delights in the PROSPERITY of His servant.

*

it's so easy for people to say "i can make it on my own" and then fall down.

but it's harder for people to say "i need God" and then fall down, BUT

.
.
.
the difference is that in God there's always a 2nd chance, a place where He'll nurse your wound and make your broken-ness whole again.

*

God Jesus? :)
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 1:07 AM 」


Friday, August 04, 2006



Father,

cause my heart never to be so desperate and hungry for power that my reputation be spoilt. lest i seem so devious in your eyes to be a person who places authority and position over all.

rather, let me be humble in my ways, doing what is right in your eyes, always focusing on what i am supposed to be doing. let any pride or unsanctified hunger be gone, teach me to be a person whom loves and feels loved. for love is God, and God is love.

let my first love never be overruled by a creation, all things go through your approval first. Father, i pray that any temptation that comes my way will not be any stronger than my faith and determination to run this race. Give me the eyes of heaven, the heart of heaven and the vision of heaven.

i pray that the hole in my heart that has been filled will continuously be filled by the Holy Spirit, overflowing with joy and gladness. the Joy of the Lord shall be my strength!

Amen.

(; (i'm still alive and kicking)
「 :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 8:02 PM 」