Thursday, June 22, 2006
have i made any impact on ANYONE's LIVES?
if you're a good friend.. what's important to me WILL be important to you.
the messaged preached was there are seasons for friends.
i must have been chasing snowflakes in the summer then.
*
i don't know why the idol competition meant so much to me. bah, i can't believe i even teared when i got home. it was so freaking disappointing.
"if you want to know how many good friends you have, just ask yourself how many ppl asked you out for your birthday"
true. i'm trying my best to recollect.
there is ministry superficiality. there is motivation superficiaility. how bout true superficiality?
wait, that's an oxymoron.
You, You are the God who will save,
cling onto all that you say,
and for always...
i don't know.. i'm really starting to be so deceived in my mind. i really got to got to choose WHO shall i press into. and be genuinely concerned.
1 Cor 13:4-5 "love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
then i'm sorry, my capacity for love isn't that much. i'll start loving people who love me back first. that's the way i go for now.
i can't stand it. i can't believe that what i've done for the past year hasn't impacted anyone deeply.
for heavens sake, just coz i'm an (personality) "I" doesn't mean i'm popular. doesn't mean i'm well-known and well-liked. doesn't mean i'm high profile.
why does everyone drive on the assumption of that?!
does anyone know how insecure i am?
does anyone know how lonely i am!?
does ANYONE know how much i want to do things but i do things the wrong way!?
does anyone know how much i want to know but becoz i do things the wrong way i end up being stupid!?
---k.
i don't know. i really don't know. i wish people would stop thinking on stereotypes and ASSUMPTIONS.
it's silly of me to think that the number of people who came to support me represents my true friends. but i guess that's the way it goes.
and i'm one lonely sad f---.
call me self pity, but i really don't care. you guys don't know how hard it is to love some and not be loved again.
i'm hardening up. ã :x all the boys stomp your feet like this x: 10:30 AM ã
